While looking for, and thinking about what to write about today, I thought about re-reading through more old posts of my favorite bloggist, Stephanie Klein. She, like me had to come out of a relationship and learn to be on her own after being with a, not-so-nice to her, spouse. Ms. Klein, in fact is the author that coined, my new favorite word, "wasband". The not quite divorced, definitely over, but only separated, former spouse. I love her word, as I am sure many have heard me use before.
Stephanie has an awesome knack for writing and letting all of the feelings just open up. I however, am not quite to that point. Of course that is the purpose of this whole blog experience,...to keep writing how I feel and get it all out there no matter what. I've found that if I make myself write every day, it will be the only way I will continue on. I am sure, in fact I am almost positive, that I read in her early blogs, that she also kept up with her writing by not missing a single day (except for vaca). I have to hope it will work for me and help me to heal.
I have been wondering when the right time would be to open up about what happened with my relationship with the wasband...but I don't know when. I had been waiting for the lease of the house that I am renting to expire. However, recently while I was on vacation, the wasband removed me from his list of friends on myspace. I guess this opens the door for me being able to write whatever I want without worrying about him not helping to pay the rent for the rented house I can't afford on my own. But I am still not sure I am at the point where the wasband healing should become my word vomit on this electronic page. Soon, I will have to face the blank page and begin telling my story to help me process the pain of losing the former dreams and ideas I thought would make up the rest of my life. I guess writing about beginning to write about it is better than nothing,...for now.
I have however been able to make one beginning or change, other than this blog, which outwardly shows my change in status. On the facebook today, I changed my status to single. Facebook, has this wondrous idea to broadcast users, daily use of their product and when you change your status, it announces to all your friends that you are now single. They even add a little broken heart icon, right before the "news feed". Of course the new announcement shined brightly for everyone to see when I changed my status. A single friend of mine, also with a wasband, congratulated me and said that I should feel liberated, while another old high-school friend wrote to ask what was going on. I am not sure how I feel about it. To add to the facebook, news feed frenzy, I also saw that my wasband had created his own new facebook page, which of course I am not invited to view, as I am not his facebook, or myspace, or real world friend.
Best thing about changing my profile however, was the new bumper sticker proudly sent to my facebook profile from Meghan. The bumper sticker app of facebook never lets me down.