Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Posted by Janet at 12:22 PM
Monday, September 29, 2008
Posted by Janet at 8:54 PM
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Posted by Janet at 4:55 PM
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Posted by Janet at 7:20 PM
Monday, September 22, 2008
So I hate spiders. Who doesn't? But luckily I have my trusty German Shepherd. Last night I saw a particularly menacing looking spider climb up the wall to the left of the television. I felt like I was in a horror movie or something. It seemed huge!! I said first softly, then louder and loudly "Sydney,..Sydney, SYDNEY!!" She came over sniffed me to make sure I was breathing, I guess, where I began frantically pointing at the wall.
Syd looked at the moving black spot, smelled my fear, and knew her next move. She leaped up about half a foot and in one quick slurp, the spider was gone. I gave her a million pets and good girls. She proudly ran after her bone and wagged her whole bottom in glee as I covered her in kisses and thankful rubs. My dog kills spiders for me. What can yours do?
Posted by Janet at 6:27 PM
Saturday, September 20, 2008
So this morning I fell asleep on the couch after watching the beginning of the Sean Penn movie, I am Sam. When I woke up after a short cat nap, I began watching the movie towards the end. Although the movie does have some sad parts, it ends all on the up and up. It is actually one of those heart felt, tear-jerkers that ends in total bliss and happiness as the dad, Sean Penn is seen running all over a soccer field excited, with his daughter (creepy Dakota Fanning, but when she was still cute) in his arms.
Alright, I am a sucker. I really like this movie. It has a trial in it, a sassy female lawyer, children, and one of my favorite legal principals, "the best interest of the child" doctrine. All of my favorite elements.
So as I am sitting there watching and remembering how much I liked this movie, I began to think, why I haven't seen it lately? I think I even own this movie. Then I realized something....the wasband used to say to me, "that the movie is too sad and a downer. Why would I want to watch that?" Suddenly I had an epiphany about him and this movie.
Okay, so an epihany about movie watching is pretty stupid but regardless, it gave me some insite into his f-ed up brain. You know, I truly believe that he did not like watching this movie, not because of the sad moments, or even its kitchy dorkiness,..He did not like this movie because it reminded him of his own child that he never sees.
The entire point of the movie, I Am Sam, is to show how a a parent's love prevails and that it is an extremely strong bond. Well, the wasband in his infinite wisdom had decided previously to our being married, that he would no longer attempt to see his own son. You see his son, lives with his ex-wife, his high-school sweetheart and her family, and she seems to want to keep it that way. The wasband always said that he came from a broken home and did not want to put his son through the same fighting between parents that he had endured. But how can someone not want to fight for their son? Why...because he is an a$$!!
I am not a parent, but I can only imagine the connection one would have with a child that is their own flesh and blood. That child is a part of him. I should have known back then when we were talking and he told me about his lack of connection with his own flesh in blood, that I would certainly have no shot at any kind of connection with him. I cannot begin to understand or know his other reasons behind this, other than the fact that yes,...he is an ass!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
So a while back I explained my experience having my DVT clot, and my Heroes mutated condition, homozygous factor five leiden, that makes me "super clotting girl." Although most pain from the clot subsided after 7-8 months, the main difference in my life was my new friend,...the rat killer, coumadin.
After doctors discover that anyone has a clot, the nice doctors make you take blood thinners. Beginning blood therapy is the desired first round of treatment for a DVT clot, despite any genetic disorders one may have. The blood thinners will hopefully slowly break down the clot until it all but dissolves. I say hopefully because some clots get worse before breaking down and must be injected with a special protein that rapidly breaks down a clot. Unfortunately there are only 5 -7 of these special proteins that rapidly break down blood clots. Therefore, beginning on blood therapy first, is the desirable approach, barring any emergencies. So, like with most, my doctors began my treatment to break down the clot with the blood thinners.
To begin the blood thinning therapy, first you inject yourself into your stomach with heparin. You may have heard of heparin as the medication that has recently been on the news because of its accidental overdosing of infants in the hospital. Dennis Quade's twins were given to much heparin after their birth and almost died. Heparin, itself sounds dangerous enough, but after the heparin, comes the coumadin.
But wait, after they begin you on the injectible medication and the coumadin, they also torture you by taking your blood, first every other day, then every two days, then twice a week, and finally once a month. I don't know if you know this, but taking blood thinners (which, heparin and coumadin both are) you tend to bruise, very easily. So having your arms, hands, wrists, etc. stuck with a needle to draw your blood for a test leaves your arms looking lovely. The blood test that is necessary to measure what I like to call my blood's consistency, is called PT/INR.
As I said, like others with a DVT clot, blood thinning therapy is the way to go. However, after the doctors realize that you have my factor five leiden mutation disorder, they decide that you get to take coumadin FOREVER, da, da daaaaa. That's right rat thinner and monthly blood tests are my way of life. Plus side, I am over my fear of needles. The initial injections I gave myself and the blood tests make me hardly even flinch whenever I see a needle. Negative, taking rat poison has, as one may think, lots of side effects.
Side effects page from the pharmacy is seriously two pages. They include things like, bruising, dry mouth, excessive sweating, chills, blood shot eyes, hemorrhage, and that I eating Vitamin K enriched foods will cause the medicine to work less effectively. Vitamin K enriched foods include all dark green vegetables, like broccoli, spinach, kale, green beans, lettuce, etc. You try dieting, while being sure to limit your lettuce intake.
Not only is my vegetable intake affected, but as you can imagine, taking blood thinner also affects your alcohol intake. However, with this new drug and its interactions and blood tests, also comes with a special doctor, the hematologist. Luckily, my awesome hematologist showed me that I can do lots of things on my rat killer, like balance my Vitamin K greens to the medicine; meaning that I must maintain a weekly steady amount of greens every week and allow the medicine to adjust to my intake. Like with the greens, I balance the intake of alcohol over the week and have the medicine adjust to this intake. What is hilarious is that I have to drink alcohol consistently if I am going to drink at all. It has to be a balanced amount. My friends find it hilarious that I have to drink alcohol consistently with the medicine so not to mess up my PT level. I just find it fabulous.
In this vain, I have learned to balance the rat killer with the amount of alcohol that I have. More greens make the blood more thick, if I drink more alcohol. I would definitely not recommend this kind of balancing act, but it has been working for me. My PT/INR tests have been very steady and luckily I have made it through almost 2 years straight of taking the rat killer without any complications.
By the way, when I call it a rat killer, I am not exaggerating. My always truthful friend, Wikapedia says it all: Coumadin, that is also known as, "warfarin was first registered for use as a rodenticide in the US in 1948, and was immediately popular".
For more information on yours and my favorite rat killer, see the US Dept. of Health and Human Services information link: http://www.ahrq.gov/consumer/coumadin.htm
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
FALL TV SHOWS that I am addicted to:
-Terminator: Sara Conner Chronicles (OK, so I like it when women get to kick ass too)
- Fringe (again, see above reason and add the creator of LOST)
- Bones (I am beginning to see a trend here)
- Heroes (haven't seen, but can't wait)
- The Office (speaks for itself)
- Eli Stone (liked this show, but maybe only because it was after LOST)
- Football, of course (I am a fantasy football person)
- Entourage (lots of eye candy and funny, funny lines)
- True Blood (VAMPIRES)
- Any show with dogs :)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I am crazy freaking impatient. Did you ever really know that about yourself? I am sitting at Shell's house waiting for her to get home from work and to bring her daughter in. And here she is....
One day, I will type more... I have to write more and actually have more to say. Later.
Posted by Janet at 2:31 PM
Monday, September 8, 2008
So, my parents are in town and have been for almost a week. I have been neglecting my therapeutic blogging because of their visit, although I could probably have really kept up and probably should have kept up with it while they've been here. But what are you going to do?
My parents decided to come visit me because of the sadness in my voice...or so I was told. But I really think that it was to come and hang out with my brother and I because they are lonely down there in their "Old Folks" retired neighborhood. Luckily, they have gotten a lot of things done for my brother's wedding while in town, so it has really been the best for everyone.
While here, to appease them I decided to attend the church that they like in the area called McLean Bible Church. I know some of you are groaning just thinking about it, but I thought, "What the heck." I could use something different to cheer me up. Here are my thoughts of the entire experience.
Upon first walking into the place, I was struck by how many young people, my age that were there. This I really did like, because I associate most church experiences with lots of older folks. When I walked into the door, I couldn't believe it. The place has a freakin cafeteria. That is crazy. Families were all nestled into the small tables, in the cafeteria like in the mall food court and I couldn't help thinking that maybe they were shopping for comfort. Maybe like me.
After finding our way to the sanctuary, or rather auditorium, I was floored by how big this places was. It was almost like a sports arena, but not in the round. I noticed how large the musical/orchestra area was and floored that a church, even one as big as this one, could have so many musically inclined folks. I have to tell you though, when the music started it was actually pretty good. Churchy, preachy music, but good and contemporary sounding, with a slight bit of holiness, oldies thrown in. I liked it.
Of course, then came the sermon. This is given by the guy on the radio who has the commercials that say, "Not a sermon, just a thought". Well, he actually sounds just like he does on the radio which was reassuring or disturbing, I don't know. I was happy with most of the message concerning being a holy person and sharing the word and such, but dissatisfied by it in the end. I was hoping that the MBC (as it is called) was not a closed church. A closed church is a church that preaches against homosexuality and says that God loves everyone, but that homosexuality is immoral.
This condemnation that the church made very clear disturbed me and confused me. In many ways this was an extremely contemporary church. They even had a freakin coffee bar for god's sake. Do the folks at MBC know what kind of hipster, open, poetically tragic people started the coffee bar phenomenon? I mean just watch, So I Married an Ax Murderer or Reality Bites. Anyhow, I was disappointed.
My initial observations of the church, although slightly hokey, seemed promising. But their positions regarding sexuality seem archaic and very un-modern. According to my good friend Wikapedia (always a very true source) many Christian churches have come to the conclusion that homosexuality is not immoral. These include liberal congregations within the United Church of Christ, the Episcopal Church in the United States of America, the Moravian Church, the Anglican Church of Canada, the Methodist Church of Great Britain, and Friends General Conference. My belief that one's sexuality can never be immoral is a fundamental belief that I cannot go back on.
So, I've decided to become Episcopalian,...if only I can wake up in time to make it there for a service. Or, I will use MBC to find a nice Christian boy to be my new boyfriend and then teach him the true ways of the world. I haven't decided which I will be doing yet.
Posted by Janet at 1:42 PM
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
I was watching some old Sex and the City episodes to entertain myself this labor day and I began to think about one of the points that Charlotte from the show, made. She said that when you are in love with someone, it takes half the time that you were in love with the person to get over the person. But I have such a weird "break-up history". When does my countdown begin?
My wasband and I have now been separated for one year. Not separated in the legal sense, but it has been one year since we have lived together. A year ago, after his encouragement or rather his compelling me, I moved back to the east side to find employment, to be near my family and friends, and most importantly to allow him to be free from me so that he could study, study, study. Too bad he failed, failed, failed.
But anyhow, after I left him in Cali to live here in VA, we never really considered ourselves, legally separated, or maybe we should have, not sure. I only saw him on two separate occasions after I left Calif. Once for 3 days over Thanksgiving and another time for 48 hours over the New Year's eve and day. (oh and the day in May he drove here to say he did not want to be married anymore,.....but that is for another post) We talked on the phone nearly every day, before that date in May, when our legal separation began. But I wonder, does that whole year we lived on separate coasts count in Charlotte's rule? I am not sure.
I definitely don't miss, and yearn for him. But I do miss little things we shared like favorite movies and songs, and the idea that I had a future and a life together with someone. But I do not miss him. He is/was an ass. I do however, sometimes miss the old, little nice things he first did for me, but that was so long ago.
We were married for almost 4 years this November. 6 months of the 4 years he was deployed. 4 months over that time he was gone for training, and then the one year, this past year we were separated by the entire country, minus those few days we saw each other over the year. Do I say we were together for 3 years and have already gone through my one year, and need the other?
Seriously though, why am I using this absurd count down to mark the time when I will be heeled? I guess because, I am feeling so lonesome and depressed lately. This is funny because for like the first month or two after the May Day, I was almost completely fine. People kept complementing me on my strength. Now, I still feel strong enough that I have not felt the urge to attempt to drag myself back to him or even talk to him. I don't know where there sadness has come from. I feel miserable.
I think that because I crave structure as that Type A, logical thinking, person that I am, I want to believe in the rule that Charlotte came up with. But am I cheating for counting this whole year that has gone by, or can I count it. I can't decide. I can only decide, that I am in a happier, supposedly physical (the east coast), but not yet mental place than I was a year ago, and that possibly in another 9 months, I will begin to feel better.