Thursday, September 11, 2008

Okay, So to continue....

The Blog that I have been overdo on continuing is from a "homework" assignment from my therapist. That's right, I see a therapist. Someone has to help me heal from this mess with the wasband and since his military health insurance is fitting the bill, I contend that getting as much therapy as possible, for free, is only "fitting".

Back to the assignment - The worksheet is entitled, "Exercises that can help with goal setting." Apparently, the therapist has not read my "Ready, Set, GOAL!!! " blog, or maybe she thinks I need more than 5 goals. But hey, I'll play along, it can only help.

The first portion of the exercise worksheet is to imagine your ideal 48 hours and "to picture in your fantasy-- smells, sounds, feelings, weather, etc." Crap, Crap, Crap. This is impossible. I can't even begin to see this. I know it would be a nice, 70 degree day where there are only the sound of nature. I want to say it is the beach, because everyone says that, but if you know me, you know that me and the beach, or rather the sun don't get along. Hmmm....I think Sydney would almost assuredly be there. She always makes me smile. And maybe even the Mollykins, she is always good to help brighten my mood. But where am I, don't know.... Maybe I should come back to this one, unless anyone else has any good ideas.
The next portion of the exercise worksheet has a list of questions. These may be easier. Let's see.
a. What is the happiest year or period in my life? Whoa. That is a big one. Maybe some time in my childhood. I'd say probably 8th grade when I had several very close girlfriends, whom I still have as close girlfriends. I don't remember why it was good though. I just remember feeling happy.
b. What things do you do well? Well, school. I do that well. That goes back to my original goals blog. I also listen to people well.
c. What was a turning point in your life? Hmmm. Recently or long ago? Probably the most significant turning point was realizing that I had a blood clotting condition that would affect almost everything that I ever do. Also the fact that I lived through the clot that could have killed me.
d. What has been the lowest point? Probably realizing that my marriage was in shambles and realizing that I probably should have never gotten married in the first place.
e. Was there an event that you demonstrated great courage? Now everything I have been writing has to deal with the clot suddenly, but it was/is a pretty significant part of my life. The event, although it seems kind of minor, took loads of courage for me, and it happened every day in the month, post clot. I had to give myself a shot of heparin in my stomach twice a day. Prior to this, I was afraid of needles and getting over that fear enough to administer the medication to myself, seemed something huge and very courageous for me.
f. Was there a time of heavy grief? That time has been now and since that "may day" really. I experienced some grief post clot, but have learned that the experience made me feel more lucky and thankful more than anything.
WOW--This is a long long post and I still have 8 more letters to go. I think I will continue the rest tomorrow. Until then....