LOST is Life LIVE Blogging - Sometimes Your Package is a Who

****SPOILER POST - LIVE Lost Blogging of March 30th Episode***


Okay who are we now? This is weird. I hate the night vision point of view.
Island - Faucke speaks to Jin. They discuss the cave that Faucke showed Sawyer

OFF Island - Sun and Jin centric episode. They escape the clutches of the FAA at the airport. So they aren't married here...interesting.

Island - Faucke is running an errand and Sayid is worried about his absence of feeling.
Jin tries to escape the Faucke contingent, and the Faucke camp gets attacked by tiny arrows, shot by large nerds. They take Jin.

Island - Now at the Beach with the people. Waiting for Richie Rich, ole eyeliner to come back...now they all wait. Sun is PISSED. She wants to garden instead. Jack comes to explain the crazy lighthouse to Sun. She wants to be left alone. I think she just wants to get some.

OFF island - Damned subtitles. LAME. I like Sun's cockiness and she shows Jin some bra and boobs! So then they ummm, do it, I guess.

Island - Faucke startles Sun in the garden just as she gets a papercut. Faucke is trying to get Sun to his camp, but Sun ain't fallin for it. She runs off and Faucke chases her threw the tall grass. Faucke, is just mean and too crafty.
Even after the commercial, Faucke continues his chase.

OFF Island – Now in bed in LA with subtitles. Oh NO! Keamy is there, he’s gonna capture Jin and lock him in the freezer!

Island – Sun hit her head while she was running away. Now Ben finds Sun and she tells about Faucke.
Faucke returns to his camp and finds the passed out people that were attacked by tooth picks. “Where is Jin?”
Okaayyyy, so Jin is trapped in that weird video room that Karl was in so long ago. Guess he’s watching some videos. HE decides to turn it off. Room 23 is where it is thanks, Zoe or who ever you are.
Jin just wants to leave to go find Sun. The crazy lady, Zoe wants some answers to Jin’s old maps.

Now back to Fauck’s camp with crazy Claire and company. Crazy Claire is afraid to go home now, she has traded positions with Kate almost….and why is Kate’s name not on the wall. Great Faucke, way to entice people to hurt one another.

“No cause that would be ridiculous.” Love you Sawyer for making a mockery of it all. Faucke and Sayid heading over to the other island, by way of boat, because, thanks to Sawyer asking, we now know Smokey can’t just head over to the other island in his smokey form.

OFF Island – Keamy is being crazy, searching Sun’s room, then they invite another dude in. These guys are not cool. They are looking for the envelope of money. They send for a translator. It’s the Russia guy, Mikhail. Sun plans on giving the money to them from her acct and blah blah blah. Father can’t know, blah blah blah.

Island – Jack is inspecting Sun’s head. Sun can’t speak English anymore. Sucks.
Then Guyliner walks in. Now they’re leaving again…”pack your bags”, he declares.
Faucke is getting shot at and he walks past the pilans but not through them. Whidmore confronts Faucke about Jin. Faucke exclaims, “A wise man once said that war is coming to the island. I think it just got here.” Fun!

Island – Guyliner says they are going to stop Faucke. Sun is pissed again. Effing subtitles. Sun needs to get some BAD!

OFF Island – Sun’s father took her money from her account. Oh noes!
Here goes Jin, being put in the Freezer. Don’t worry, Sayid will save you Jin. Keamy informs that Paik was in the know about the relationship between Sun and Jin. Keamy was supposed to kill Jin, but there is no fee to pay him now.

Island – They are nerds! She’s a geophysicist. Poor Jin always getting locked up, now released to speak to Whidmore.
Ohhh Whidmore lets Jin see his baby. Whidmore MUST be good. Baby picture sharing means you’re good. Whidmore is trying to stop Faucke from leaving the island. Ohh and he plans to show Jin his package. His package is a Who!

OFF Island - Sayid comes to save Jin. They have a connection. Also Sayid has a great accent off-island. Jin wants to be free. Sayid gives Jin the means to be free, but does not free him. Now Sun is taken to the restaurant to meet up with them. They see the dead Paik mercenaries. There is a bit of a stand off and more subtitles. Jin shoots Mikhail and blinds him, nice! But Sun was also shot. EFF! She was even pregnant. CRAP!
 
Island - Jack gives Sun a pep talk. She gets to write. Jack found a tomoto is Sun's garden after 3 years. Special tomato! Jack asks Sun what Faucke said. Jack offers to help Sun find Jin.
Kate and Sawyer discuss the crap that's going down. Sawyer is pissed. But Faucke says he doesn't like secrets, so Sayid is investigating. AND WHAT THE EFF? NOOO! It's my Bruutha, Desmond!
 
Thoughts
- Sun and Jin are so close to being together, but their fate may keep them apart
- Having your dead wife talk to you makes you change yourself REAL FAST
- The Smoke Monster is restricted by some things, water, pilans, running quickly away
- Sawyer thinks that Smokey is kind of rediculous

LOST is Life LIVE Blogging - So, Who is Really the Bad One?

****SPOILER POST - Post is Live Blogging of Tuesday, March 23, 2010 Episode of LOST****


Ilana again?? Where is Guyliner? Ilana explains the candidates on the island to the Jack, Hurley, Sun brigade.
So now what Richard, time to explain the next step. Yes, tell us the secret Guyliner. No, they're not in Hell. Really, Guyliner....

ISLAND - Ilana is going after Guyliner. We're all talking about the illusive Guyliner.....okay, ready to flash back now....oh we did!

FB - And we're in the Canary Islands. Nice! Isabella is pretty and sick. (SIDE NOTE -The Lost creators did not borrow Isabella's name from Twilight, I can assure you....I think). Spanish, doctors, death, and crosses oh my.
I don't trust the mean doctor who has the cross. He is a dick and Guyliner may have killed him. Opps. Oh no, she died why he was gone. Now Guyliner, has nothing. Poor Guyliner, he must wear the eyeliner scar for the rest of his days, much like the Scarlet Letter.
Wow, this priest is a mean too. No forgiveness for Guyliner's sin.

Still FB - They are taking Guyliner to die for murdering the doctor,,,. And Whitfield (some guy from Black Rock?) is going to save him, no, I was just wrong. Now he's going on the Black Rock ship, to the new world. But I bet they'll get Lost, ha! Umm, the Black Rock's prisoners see the statue and the ship is what destroyed the foot statue...okay.
As the boat is shipwrecked it appears that all are alive, including Guyliner of course. So the Captain is just killing all people like a madmen. Crazy. This is an effed up history that Guyliner has....Oh wait I guess Smokey killed all the people and now he is going to investigate Guyliner....but he's saved. Strange.

Still FB - Guyliner is trying to cut himself free from the chains. He's close to death, trying to free himself. Sad times. LOOK! There's a Boar! Oh no, he lost his tool. Wow! He sees Isabella in his dreams she also says that they are in Hell. Are they? Seems so...this is depressing me thoroughly.

THANK GOD! Literally....wait no, isn't that the "Man in Black" from before? with Jacob.... They are dead!?! That guy is so the devil, not Jacob/God....I don't want them, all the Losties to be dead. They gotta kill the devil. Ummm, okay.

FB - Guyliner is eating. Oh this guy is NOT nice. He is trying to get the guy to kill Jacob. I do not trust him because he is in black and white is better. This sounds racist. But it is so how it goes in this dark/evil comparison realm.
So, Guyliner does what he is told and heads toward the statue, that has been destroyed by Black Rock. But he is getting punched out by Jacob (in his white shirt).
GOOD! Jacob says that he's NOT DEAD! YAAAYYY! He tries to drown Guyliner to prove a point. They're gonna talk.

Still FB - Guyliner FINALLY got his own blankets. Jacob must invite people to the island, ok. Jacob says he is not the devil (duh, of course he's say no). He brought the ship to the island. Okay, so the island is the cork of a wine bottle. Interesting. Jacob gives Guyliner a job to be his intermediary to all people on the island. Here, Jacob gives him the everlasting life. Oh no, the man in black gave him the chance to change his mind. DON'T DO IT GUYLINER!
He buries his wife's cross necklace.

Island @ Present - Guyliner goes to area where he buried his wife's necklace. He says he changed his mind out loud. He calls out for Faucke, aka Man in Black. BUT Hurley comes to change his mind by informing him about Isabella being there and that he, Hurley can talk to her. Hurley passes on a lovely message. Tears...
He puts on his wife's cross. Hurley tells us that we have to stop Faucke/Man in Black from leaving the island!!
Wait are there 2 men in Black? Oh wait this is from before.
Someone else can take Jacob's place, YES!


THOUGHTS
- Thankfully we are not in Hell on the Island
- Someone can take Jacob's place and keep the man in black on the island
- There is definitely a good/bad thing going on here
- WE GOT TO SEE Richard's LIFE & STORY

LOST is Life LIVE Blogging - Take Me to Your Leader

******SPOILER POST - LIVE blogging of LOST episode from Tuesday, March 16th******


Are we heading into a Sawyer/Jin Episode? Why would Sawyer leave the New Otherton, oh that is right, Fuacke talked him into coming with him. Is this a Kate-Sawyer reunion? Yes, it is. And anti-climatic, as usual. Why did Kate just follow Faucke? Again, Kate is DUMB!

OFF ISLAND - GOD BLESS AMERICA! We have Sawyer centric episode and shirtless Sawyer. And Sawyer's shenanigans with the cash and junk, oh wait, so now Sawyer is getting busted, or rather the chick is getting busted, because Sawyer is a mother flipping COP! That is just plain hot right there. I also love that he is working with Miles. Miles can be a legitimate investigator with his super powers. Love it!

ISLAND - With crazy Clare and her crazy squirrel baby. Thank god, Kate please put the squirrel baby out of it's misery. Kate's like WTF, Clare? So you're asking questions finally, you moron.

OFF ISLAND - Sawyer makin calls and working with Miles. Awesome Sawyer has a date,... Miles, asks "Do you want to die alone?" Miles can tell that Sawyer is lying to him.

ISLAND - Hiking adventures never cease on LOST island. Faucke has man boobs. OK, so Faucke admits out loud that he is the smoke monster. And the smoke monster can be killed? huh? How? Sending Sawyer over to Hydra island for investigations, cause Sawyer is a great liar. NICE, way to make a man feel useful.

OFF ISLAND - Sawyer goes on his set up date from Miles, and it's with Charlotte. Awwww. Oh wow, Sawyer in a suit is gorgeous. This is the greatest episode ever! Oh my goodness, Jimmy Boy still has his bad attitude and hot temper to match his hot bod.

ISLAND - Sawyer back to Hydra island, first time, since he was here doing the nasty with Kate, I think. He cuddles Kate's clothes. Um wow!Faucke's island group is like manic central.
And Sawyer finds the plane! The plane the plane! And a pile of dead people. This episode goes from good, to just crazy bad. Oh wow, there's actually a live one, here.

OFF ISLAND - Aww Charlie's bro. So nice. And Miles is PISSED at Sawyer for lying to him. A little harsh about going to Australia maybe? Miles gives Sawyer (or Jim as he's known off-island) the kiss off.

ISLAND - Gives the live one, named Zoe some water. Zoe claims that when she returned from gathering wood, all the people were dead.
Poor Kate crying by herself. Faucke comes to talk with her. He discusses the crazy Clare situation. She asks where Sawyer went.
Sawyer figures out that Zoe is not who she says she is. And now we see more people with guns. Sawyer surrenders.

Kate and Faucke chill on the beach. Wow, Kate is being uber bitchy. I like it. So Faucke is trying to bond with Kate, but comes off creepy.
More trompsing through the jungle, but now headed to Whidmore's submarine.

OFF - ISLAND - It's almost like Sawyer does the sames shizz on or off the island, just like all the other sideways story lines "Little House on the Praire" giving meaningfull messages since the 1980s.
Sawyer goes to make up with Charlotte. She bitches him out and slams the door in his face.

ISLAND - Sawyer finds a double padlocked door on his way to Whidmore, inside the sub....don da don! Now, Sawyer talks with Whidmore. Sawyer is trying to arrange his way plus some others off the island with Whidmore assistance. Trust will obviously be an issue. Saywer is going to lead Faucke to Whidmore in exchange of a way off the island. Let's see how he does this madness, or is he lying to Whidmore? Hmmmm...

Kate walking alone in the forest. She comes upon Crazy Clare, who apologizes. Is this for real? I want it to be. Why does Clare have to be so crazy?

Sawyer comes back to Faucke. He informs that the passengers from the plane are all dead. He also tells Faucke the entire plan he told Whidmore. Why Sawyer, WHY?

OFF-ISLAND - Miles walking down the street and gets picked up by Sawyer. NICE. He tells Miles all about the Sawyer guy that caused the death of his parents. Um wow, something odd just happen. Sawyer got hit by Kate's car as she tried to escape. They can't stay apart those crazy cats.

ISLAND - Yup they're together here too. Planning their escape. Then they look all seductively at one another. Ohh yummmm.

THOUGHTS
- Yes indeedy, Faucke is doubly confirmed to be the smoke monster, so he said
- Whidmore has arrived, with men with guns
- Kate is dumb, but she can cause Sawyer's shirt to come off. Always good!

LOST is Life LIVE Blogging - Cheese Carrots

***Contains SPOILERS from this week's lost that aired on Tuesday, March 9th 2010***

So this week do we get to fine what of Hurley and Jack. No, right now we are running with Ben. Oh good, they are going back to the beach.

OFF ISLAND - Licing with Ben as your teacher. Odd. We are learning about Napolean. "He might just as well have been dead." Yeah it's Arzt! He blew up, on the island. NICE. Locke suggests that maybe Ben should be the Principal of their school. Interesting....not really.

ISLAND - Ben explaining about the smoke monster now. Ilana wants Miles to explain how Jacob died. Miles does his freaky shizz and then properly informs that Ben killed Jacob. Will Ben meet his end? Nope, Ilana just laid that awesome woman guilt trip.

Still Island. Now at the Beach. We never get out of this little section of the island as it seems. Maybe if they left it more often, they would have foundb the lighthouse.

OFF ISLAND - Ben is heating a dinner for his Dad. Looks like Dad has cancer. Oh, his Dad is his same Dad from Island. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Oh they are day dreaming about the Island life they may have been missing. Ohhh, Alex is here! She is a student. Oh, I missed Alex.

ISLAND - Ilana, Sun, and company, are rebuilding at the beach. Candidates to replace Jacob! We just learned an answer! I love learning answers.

"Cheese Carrots." I love Hurley's one liners. Jack is leaving and Hurley is trying to stop him from going back to the Temple. YES! It's GuyLiner, Alpert.

Ben is being nastalgic for all of us. How awesome. Suddenly, Ilana is pointing a gun at Ben and having him walk. Is she executing him? She is first tying, him up, and now making him dog his own grave, because of his murdering Jacob. Ilana doesn't mess around.

OFF ISLAND - The East India Trading Company is being studied here with Alex and Ben. This is touching. And now Ben can get to be PRincipal, but off island he deserves to be leader.

ISLAND - Ben is digging his own grave. So Jacob cared about being killed, so says Miles.

I love that Hurley asks if Guyliner is a Vampire. Hurley's questions are the best. Guyliner informs that all the people at the Temple are dead, but Kate and Sayid weren't there. I love that Jake after 6 seasons, has learned how to ask questions instead of standing there, all sad face. What? Now Guyliner warns Jack and Hurley not to believe Jacob... Huh? And like Faucke is trying to leave the island, Guyliner is trying to figure out how to die.

OFF ISLAND - Arzt and Ben are talking about taking over the school.

ISLAND - Now back in the belly of the ship with Guyliner and company. When Jacob touches you, it's a curse or a gift to keep you alive forever. Jack is going to help Guyliner die via explosion. And we learn another answer....you can't kill yourself, you must be killed by another. Ahh ha.

Jack wants to talk with Guyliner. He sends Hurley away. Jack explains the lighthouse to Guyliner. AHHHH the fuse is burning to the dynamite. What is going to happen? And the fuse fizzled. Wonder if Guyliner is pissed that he died. Jack suggests going back to where they started.

Ben hears bad sounds at the gravesite area at the Beach, it's smokey, AKA Faucke. Ben asks, "What are you doing here?" So can Ilana not see Faucke? Of course Faucke is asking Ben to stay in charge of the Island. Faucke releases Ben and tells him to come to Hydra and how she can kill Ilana there. She goes after him as he runs away.

OFF ISLAND - Ben goes to see the principal. Ben gives the principal email messages that implicate his behavior with the nurse. This is blackmail and now Ben has to choose between Alex and himself.

ISLAND - Ilana chasing after Ben in the jungle. Ben got to the rifle and is now pointing it at Ilana. She asks what he is waiting for in shooting him. Ben tells about his difficult decision between Alex and the island. Yup, he faces the same thing off island as well. Ben says he must go to Locke because he is the only one that will have him. But Ilana says she'll have him. Ohhh, teary eyed.

OFF ISLAND - Oh no. Did Ben give Alex up again? Oh wait, Alex got a good letter of reccomendation. Oh Good, Ben choose right. YeahhH!

ISLAND - Ben and Ilana come back to the beach. Que, Jack and Hurley?? Oh and Ben goes to help Sun. How lovely. Again, where the eff is Yin? Awwww, Slow hug shot. Why are they making me so teary?

WTF?? What the, huh? Ohh it's Widmore in a Sub.

THOUGHTS
- This show mader me tear up several times, all the father-daughter Alex memories and nice Ben, and the Hurley-Sun reunion.
- Learned some things. FINALLY. Biggest secret - the candidates were to be the new Jacob.

LOST is Life LIVE Blogging - Kate IS Stupid

******SPOILER POST******** CONTAINS INFO FROM EPISODE AIRED ON March 2nd

Ready for my Questions to be Answered. So this is a Sayid centered Episode. Damn his hair is greasy. Nadia is very pretty. Okay in this alternative reality Sayid does not get the girl. Poor Sayid. Whoot Sayid works on Contracts too! I feel like Sayid and I are kin!

ISLAND - Sayid is going to get us some answers, but only about him and the tests from three weeks ago. LAME. Like I've said before, we have the Black/White, Good/Bad, Yin/Yang thing going on.....we get it. Get more answers Sayid. Beat it out of this man. The, "it's just a baseball" fell to the ground. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

STILL ISLAND - Crazy Clare and Faucke. Clare is looking for her son and heading in the temple for her son. He's not there Clare. Why does she believe Faucke?

OFF ISLAND - FYI - Sayid loves black wife beater shirts in all alternative realities. Sayid's brother is bad news, he also does not prefer wife beaters. Sayid is NOT that man anymore, but still likes his black wife beater, always.

ISLAND - Sayid is leaving and is banished because he's evil. Here comes Crazy Clare to deliver a message about "Him". So the Others, and mainly Lennon just now figured out Jack and Hugo were gone. Observant.
Now Sayid will be assisting Dogen...will he be torturing Clare? Okay no. Will Dogen use Sayid to kill the evil that is Faucke?. To be good, Sayid must commit murder...interesting.

OFF ISLAND - Seems like Sayid's bro is a DICK. The kids are not down with him. Brother, attacked, in hospital. There goes Jack. Hi Jack! Oh no, now Sayid is going to kill his brother's attacker, off island. Sayid is a killer no matter where he is, just as much as Jack is a doctor.

ISLAND - Kate runs into Sayid and sends her to speak with Miles. I love that this temple has a simple door but they could not find the place for years upon years. Oh Crap, here comes the Clare/Kate show down.

Now Sayid tromping through the jungle. Strange noises and now Sayid says bring it, he them stabs Faucke, who says, "Why'd you go and do that?"
Now Faucke has the knife. Will he kill Faux Sayid or Fayid?
Faucke wants Fayid to deliver a message to Dogen. But then asks him about what he wants from the world.

OFF ISLAND - Apples and Potatoes. Sayid stayed at the house and did not attack the attacker, apparently. Sayid believes he is evil off the island.

ISLAND - SO maybe Fayid agreed with Faucke, or maybe not. But he delivers a message to the others, informing them about Jacob. The Others are free. Can leave the temple and join the man or die. Well those choices suck.

Kate is looking for Clare. Goes to see her and finds her singing the falling star pocket song. Kate explains where Aaron is and Clare looks pissed. Clare warns, that "HE is coming and they can't stop him." Obviously this is Faucke. But why does Crazy Clare have to sound like a crazy person awaiting Dracula's return? I love Clare, but can someone cure her crazy, please?
Still on the island. Fayid delivered his message and now the Others are panicking

OFF ISLAND - Strange dudes come to question Sayid at his brotehr's house. They also speak Arabic, like to short order cook and prefer breakfast foods. Oh I hated this dude, forgot his name. He always seemed like such a DICK though. Martin is his first name, but we called him by his last name, Keamy before. This is a typical Mob shake down for more borrowed money, situation. But Sayid can take names and kick ass. And there is someone locked in the freezer. Yup, it's Jin.

ISLAND - Where the hell is Island, Jin? Did he come back to the Temple? I forgot. Fayid asks Dogen why he didn't kill Fayid before? Dogen tells his sad tell of drunk driving....srsly? Thanks Carlton and Damon for the Drunk Driving Message...featuring Jacob. FYI - It really was a baseball. DOgen knows that Faucke offered Fayid a similar bargain. Then, Fayid dramatically tackles DOgen in the water. There goes one of the most interesting characters remaining in LOST. Lennon is obviously distraught as he walks into the scene. Now he is dead.
Smokey invades the Temple. Kate goes to get Clare and somehow Miles where everything is. Holy crap now, Ilana saves them with Lapidus, Sun and crew.Sun learns her husband is on the island, and finally someone else asks where Jin is. Tied up at Clare's place?

Sayid is not to be saved, as he tells Ben. Ahh too much is happening. Thank God someone has a plan (Ilana). Kate and Clare go into the courtyard and see the massacre. How did they get out of the hole? Kate goes out to Faucke and the Others. No one talks to her and she just follows. Kate is stupid.

THOUGHTS
-I did not receive any answers.
-I often stand up for Kate, mainly because I love the Evangeline, but she is plain dumb.
-Can't effing wait until next week! Jin-Sun reunion. Bigger Kate-Clare showdown. So exciting.
-NOOOO, only 10 more.