Friday, January 9, 2009


I've decided to just embrace them and continue acting like an 18-year-old that is in love with love. It's a little crazy, but it seems to be working for me at this point. It has distracted me from feeling lonely and isn't that what all good "entertainment" is supposed to do?

Despite getting that gooshy feeling of loving-ness from being a Twihard, I have also remembered a past obsession with Titanic. Maybe its just things that begin with the letter "T". Who knows...but speaking of things with T. I think that the same thoughts that I had at the beginning of my rekindling with "T" or wasband, were brought on by the same obsession with love. I am not sure there was real, honest love there, maybe just the idea of being in love with love was there.

As I had read the Twilight books, and as I remember my obsession with the Titanic, I think how, I became intoxicated by all the loving letters, the loving expressions, thoughts, presents, etc., that were once presented to me by said, wasband. It was an amazing, thrilling experience to feel so love and wanted by him in the beginning and to have all of things to show for it (Oh, I guess another thing I would have not likely had without the marriage to him, that I could be "thankful" for). But, as you know, look what all those things and promises have got me now. Young Adult fiction.

Looking over the beginning "happy" periods of our "romance" it is easy to see that we were both a little too into being in love with love rather than being in love with one another. The first drunken fight that we had not even a month after his return, should have been more proof of that. (NEED to discuss this at some point I think).Well, that and the fact that he stopped sending me love letters and expected me to learn Arabic.

Okay, need to learn other obsessions! Oh and I get to revert back to my LOST obsession that is less than two weeks away! Woo hoooooooo!